Opening doors, changing minds

In May 2008 the California Supreme Court held that it violated the Equal Protection clause of the California constitution to deny same sex couples the right to marry. On November 4, 2008, 51% of the voters in California amended our constitution to limit marriage to those between a man and a woman.

I keep hearing the same story repeated. Gay people who talked about their relationships with their friends, families and coworkers in the run-up to the election changed the way people voted on Proposition 8. I heard a couple, two women who walked from Los Angeles to San Francisco after the election to talk to people about same sex marriage, say that over and over again after talking to straight voters they were told, “If I had met you before the election I wouldn’t have voted for Proposition 8.”

The proponents of Proposition 8 focused on sowing fear: telling voters that without Proposition 8 schools would have to teach children about homosexuality and churches would be forced to marry gay couples. Neither is true, but the real predicter of how people voted seems to be whether they know anyone who is gay or lesbian. When straight voters know gay and lesbian people they realize that our relationships are just like theirs and just as deserving of recognition and respect.

In the movie Milk, Harvey Milk tells his staff, “When they know who we are, they vote for us 2 to 1.” It is in that spirit that I began The Doors Opening Project. I want to open the doors of understanding and respect between straight and gay people, to open the door to full equality for gays and lesbians. I want the people who visit this blog to meet the couples who got married in California between June and November 2008, the real people whose lives are affected by Proposition 8.